Sister Act - A Divine Musical Comedy

"Sister Act - A Divine Musical Comedy" is pure fluff. Don't get me wrong, I really like fluff, but "Sister Act" is distinctly average fluff. For the first hour its really very dull fluff. Eventually the nuns get their thing on and the show attains a warm, fuzzy fluff that just about sustains for the remainder of the running time. Just. I caught a preview so usual disclaimer and all that, but it's the book that really sucks and there's not much they can do about that now.

The book is a string of one liners that largely fall very flat. The central narrative is the weakest element of the show, the villain neither funny, menacing nor in anyway interesting and Deloris so sketchily painted that it's very hard to care. Part of the reason the first hour is so dull is that the story is fore fronted with a dearth of good songs and far too much talking. Things pick up when they largely throw the story out the window and start singing big chorus numbers (and then wobble a little when they reintroduce the plot to finish things off). The romantic narrative is appaulingly dealt with. It's completely obvious from the start and yet when it finally happens it feels like it comes out of nowhere. Alan Menken's score is overall a bit of a disappointment. I'm a sucker for his brand of sentimentality but there isn't a song in the entire evening that offers anything truly original or even exceptional. A couple of the big group numbers are a lot of fun, "Raise Your Voice" in particular, but most of the solos are hideously derivative, "Sister Act", the title song, presses the right emotional buttons but in a very obvious way. "Lady in the Long Black Dress" is a clever pastiche and "Here Within These Walls" recalls the very best of Menken's Disney work but almost every number sounds like something you've heard before just with an added disco spin.

What can't really be faulted is the staging. This is a slick enterprise. The set designs are some of the best I've ever seen. Cathedral-like structures give way to seedy bars in the blink of an eye without the lights ever going to blackout. They do dominate proceedings at times but you can hardly complain when the cast are cracking incontinence jokes about nuns, anything to distract is welcome. The costumes are eye-poppingly colourful, the quick-change scene seriously clever. The lighting has just the right amount of pizzazz, not so much as to irritate but never less than spectacular. The choreography is tremendously watchable, but don't expect anything you haven't seen before.

The cast are largely better than the piece deserves. Patina Miller isn't quite brilliant enough to create a real character from the mess that the script supplies her with but she has a serious set of pipes. Blasting out her music with real panache and not a little star quality only some diction problems (the sound system can perhaps be blamed) mar what is a stunning vocal performance. Sheila Hancock does her very best Maggie Smith impression but sadly seems completely incapable of beautiful singing (which surprised me considering her track record). She made a decent fist of the terrific solo number "Here Within These Walls" but managed to make a complete hash of her duet with Miller, one note ear splittingly unfortunate. The third top billed role is a fairly small one and was taken by an understudy Paul Kemble. Despite a bizarre accent he did fine but it's a pretty meagre role to be billed so prominently (presumably Dad's Army brings in the older market). Elsewhere, the cast are all very strong. The nuns are a brilliant bunch, understandably younger than in the film, but capable singers and dancers. Katie Rowley Jones takes top honours as Sister Mary Robert. She nearly created a three-dimensional character and her big number "The Life I Almost Led" almost garnered an ounce of emotion from me. Julia Sutton has great fun as a dirty older nun and she effectively lands some pretty terrible toilet gags which was impressive (under the circumstances). The villains are a talented bunch given little to work with. Chris Jarman doesn't quite know what he's supposed to be doing (comic or serious? I'm not sure anyone knows) but his lackeys fare better. Thomas Goodridge and Nicolas Colicos have stunning voices and just play everything for laughs. I felt sorry for Ivan de Freitas who is given an abysmal Spanish stereotype. It isn't funny; it would have struggled to be funny in "Mind Your Language".

This isn't an awful show so much as a deeply average one. After the first hour, which is an actually pretty tedious (something I don't think I've ever thought about any glitzy musical), things really pick up and through a series of derivative but effective group numbers I started enjoying myself. The slickness of the staging keeps things moving and I can't fault the company for commitment. It's just the one-liner strewn script with so few quality jokes it's amazing someone didn't attempt to fix things and a songbook of so little originality you'll think you've heard it all before. I'm clearly not the target market here though (although I loved "Zorro" and "Legally" which are very much this market) and much of the audience lapped this up. A standing ovation was given throughout the London Palladium which is frankly shocking; firstly because we're British and secondly because it didn't come near to deserving it, the self-justifying Broadway need for everyone to convince themselves they haven't wasted their money seems to be kicking off here. This new audience trait of spontaneously applauding every joke, good and bad, is unfortunate. You just lose the next line of dialogue. Somewhat predictably, it was an audience of natterers; can people not recognise the difference between the comfort of their own home and the theatre? Gosh, I'm starting to feel old. I've seen this sort of show many times and as feel good musicals go, this is near the bottom of the pile. There's nothing to genuinely dislike but there are many shows in the West End to like more.